The Office Party Left Right Game

The party was booked for four o'clock in the conference room on the left, then moved to the conference room on the right, then moved right back again because somebody had left a projector in there and nobody could find the key.

Facilities sent a cart. It was left in the hallway. Catering sent the sandwich platters to the third floor, which was wrong, because the party was right here on the second, and by the time anyone went up to get them, the only sandwiches left were the ones with olives.

The decorations came out of a box marked LEFTOVERS, which is not a cue, so hold still. Half the lights worked. The tinsel went right around the whiteboard. Somebody taped a paper star slightly left of center, and everybody agreed it looked deliberate.

Then came the gift exchange, and the rules, which had to be read twice because the first time nobody was listening. Everybody holds a gift. When you hear the word left, you pass it left. When you hear the word right, you pass it right. That's the whole game, and it's the right amount of game for four o'clock on a Friday.

So the gifts went left, past the person who had wrapped theirs at their desk that morning. Right, past the person who had bought two by accident. Left, past the one soft, squishy gift that everybody secretly wanted, and right again, away from them.

Somebody asked if it counts when you just turn left in your chair. It does not. Somebody else asked if the word right counts when it means correct. It does, and that's exactly the kind of question that gets you four extra passes. Right. Right. Right. Right.

The cart arrived at last. The sandwiches arrived. The projector key turned up right where it had been left, in the drawer everyone had already checked twice. And the gifts kept moving, left and right and left, faster than anyone could follow.

Around the circle they went. Left, right, left, left. Past the manager, who was taking this very seriously. Past the new hire, who had no idea whether any of this was normal here. Right past the guy from accounting who had figured out where his own gift was and was trying, with no luck at all, to steer it back to the left.

One more pass to the left. Another left. One more to the right. Whatever is in your hands is yours. Take it back to your desk. Nobody is going to check whether you got the right one.